


Consequences

by deirdre_aithne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-11
Updated: 2012-05-11
Packaged: 2017-11-08 05:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deirdre_aithne/pseuds/deirdre_aithne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sitting alone in the back row of chairs, Severus saw him, staring straight ahead with a hollow and empty look about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those fics where providing warnings or really any sort of tags or pairing information will give away the story, so I will say this much: This fic contains possible triggers and should be read at your own risk.

_Draco swallowed thickly as he stood outside the dark wooden door, his hands clenched tight at his sides. The turmoil in his mind weighed down his shoulders, and after taking another deep breath and straightening himself up, he raised his fist to rap his knuckles against the door. He heard Severus' deep baritone from the other side bidding him to enter, and with hands far steadier than he felt, Draco pushed the door to his office open and stepped inside. The door swung shut behind him, and as it closed, Severus looked up from the stack of essays on his desk to meet Draco's gaze with an arched eyebrow.  
  
"Is there something that you need, Draco?"  
  
Nodding a bit stiffly, Draco moved to perch himself in the chair across the desk from Severus. "Yes... I came to ask for your advice, actually." Severus' raised eyebrow moved higher when Draco didn't elaborate, and after a brief, uncomfortable silence, Draco cleared his throat and continued, avoiding his godfather's eyes._   
  
  
Severus looked over the crowd gathered and spoke in a low, steady voice. The faces of the few students who had elected to attend were a mix of grief, anger, and masks of indifference, save for one face that stood out in the crowd. Sitting alone in the back row of chairs, Severus saw him, staring straight ahead with a hollow and empty look about him. His skin had gone pale, and was beginning to look stretched and thin, as though he had neither slept, nor eaten, in several days.   
  
  
_"I'm not certain where to begin, Severus. It... It's so bloody_ complicated _, and I've tried to let it go. I've tried everything I can to ignore it and remind myself that this sort of thing is impossible for me, but..." Raising his eyes, Draco looked at Severus with a pleading expression and asked in a whisper, "Do you know what I'm talking about?"  
  
Severus' lips pulled into a thin line as he nodded. "I do. You have not been entirely... discreet."  
  
"What do I  _do_ , Severus?" Draco heard his voice crack on the words and cursed under his breath, pushing up to his feet to pace. The silence that answered his question was deafening, and the longer that it stretched between them, the more uncomfortable Draco became.  
  
"There isn't much that I can say about this, Draco. I'm afraid that I do not have all of the answers."_   
  
  
When the assembled began to file up towards the small, raised platform, Severus noticed that the boy remained rooted in place in the back row. He made no move to rise, and avoided meeting the eyes of anyone who spared him a glance, with the exception of Severus -  _his_  eyes, the boy met head-on, forcing him to suffer his hollow gaze for as long as he could bear before he turned his own face away.   
  
  
_Draco made an angry sound and reached his hand up to run his fingers through his hair. "My father would not approve of this. My_ mother _would die of shame if it were to come out-"  
  
"Then do not let it come out," Severus answered. "You have not been so obvious in your... _ interest _that your classmates have noticed, just yet. If you were to cease this now, before they do-"  
  
"Severus, you must know that it isn't that damn simple. If it were, then I wouldn't be here now!"  
  
"You're still young, Draco-"  
  
"I'm eighteen," Draco interrupted in a hiss. "_ Do not _tell me this is just the foolish experimentations of youth."_   
  
  
It was only after all of the others had left that Severus saw the boy move from his chair, pushing slowly to his feet. He kept his eyes focussed directly ahead of him as his feet carried him forward, through the isle between rows of chairs and towards the platform, where he stopped only a few steps away and stared at it as though he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. He did not acknowledge Severus now, but still Severus found himself moving, closing the distance between the two of them and hovering a step behind the boy and to one side. Reaching one hand out, he laid it on his shoulder and for the first time, realized that the boy was trembling.   
  
  
_"You have time to change," Severus finished, ignoring Draco's interruption. He lowered his gaze to his essays as he spoke, and Draco felt his ire building at the sudden refusal to meet his eyes. "The term ends in only a few weeks, perhaps it would be best to steer your focus towards your studies."  
  
"Severus... Tell me that this is alright."  
  
"Or Quidditch, if you would prefer. I understand Minerva has announced there will be a few recreational games for the seventh and eight year students, perhaps you should look into participating."  
  
"Severus," Draco growled, and as Severus began speaking of his marks and preparing to sit his NEWTs, the last of Draco's self-control snapped. "_ Answer me! _"  
  
Faster than he was able to follow, Severus had risen to his feet, his hands braced on the desk as he leaned forward slightly an glowered down his nose at Draco, speaking in a sharp, barking tone. "You _ know _what I'll say, Draco. You knew before you walked through this door!_ If _you do not stop this now, before it has grown out of hand and you have done something that compromises what little secrecy you have maintained until this point, your life will be entirely ruined. Is_ that _what you wish to hear?"_   
  
  
"Do you wonder if there is more you could have done?"   
  
Even his voice sounded hollow, and it took Severus a moment to comprehend what he had been asked. After a brief hesitation, he inclined his head in a small nod. "I do..." Again, those eyes turned on him, and despite the desire to look away, Severus made himself meet his gaze.   
  
"He trusted you, you know. Enough to go to you, when he couldn't go to anyone else."   
  
The words were delivered in an even tone, without any hint of accusation, but it was there in the boy's eyes as he looked at him, and Severus slowly drew his hand away with a whisper. "I know..."   
  
  
_Draco's pacing had halted, and he stared at Severus in shock, his eyes wide and his hands beginning to tremble as the fears that had been coursing through his mind were put to words.  
  
"Your father would disown you at the very best, and assuming he believed himself capable of getting away with it, I wager he would do much worse than that before ultimately throwing you out of the only home you have, with nothing but whatever clothes you had on your back and your wand. You would have _ nothing _, do you understand me?" Severus straightened and took a measured breath, his eyes hard as he looked at Draco, speaking again in a much quieter tone.  
  
"Whatever you feel, however deep this infatuation you have developed has seated itself, you _ must _push it away now. Do what you are expected to do, for your family, and all will be well for you. That is all the advice that I can offer you."  
  
As Severus sat again, his dismissal obvious in his words and the way he plucked up his quill and began scratching away at an essay, Draco felt as though his body had gone numb. His lower lip trembled as did his hands, and without speaking, he tucked his hands into the pockets of his robes and turned sharply on his heel. Determination alone kept his back straight and his shoulders squared as he strode out of the office, his feet carrying him away from the dungeons, seeming to know where to go before his mind had caught up enough to decide that he should leave._   
  
  
Without speaking, the boy turned his face away from Severus again, and he took one step forward, and then another, until he was able to place his hands on the smooth wood of the coffin's edge. Severus remained where he was for a moment and watched as Potter's trembling hand moved to brush a strand of blond hair back from Draco's forehead, turning away when he saw the first tear rolling down his cheek.   
  
"I'm sorry, Potter..."   
  
Silence answered him, and unable to bear this place any longer, or the sight of Draco as he was, peaceful as though he were sleeping – and in some way, perhaps he was, though it was no sleep he could wake from now – Severus moved quietly away. It was only when he was passing the last row of chairs, where Potter had sat through the funeral, that he heard his whispered words.   
  
" _I forgive you, Severus._ "   
  
Severus stilled, closing his eyes and swallowing before he moved forward again. He was halfway towards the doors of the Great Hall when he heard Potter's wail of anguish, and cast one glance over his shoulder to see he had crumbled to his knees in front of Draco's casket, with his hands gripping the edges and his head tipped against it. Even from that distance, Severus could see his shoulders shaking with sobs, and suddenly those words of forgiveness seemed as hollow as the look Potter had about him now. Taking an unsteady breath, Severus turned away again and made his way slowly up the steps to the doors to leave Potter to his grief.


End file.
